Lindsey and Tiger....

Sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I....   Nah, I probably shouldn't go there. Somebody might think I'm being racist, or sexist, or even (horrors!!) childish. We can't have that. Sorry. Ahem.

At any rate, it appears as if Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn are the latest and greatest "item" in the sports world. They've been merrily posting pix of their glorious, cue the trumpets, "togetherness" for all the world to see. And obviously, planet earth wouldn't survive very long if its inhabitants weren't kept abreast (no pun intended) of every detail regarding the love lives of its glitterati. How long the dynamic LT duo had been enjoying each other's company before it went public is anybodies guess. Regardless, they've come out of the closet...... No, scratch that. Yours truly wrote something else on that subject a while back and got hammered for it. Damn, this gossip column stuff is trickier than I thought and fraught with danger. Where are you when I need you Dippy?

Yet Tiger and Lindsey seem to make a great couple. After all, they have a lot in common.

Between tournaments and races -- they've both won a lot of stuff, have bursting trophy cases, and are world famous.

They both seem easily prone to cussing when things aren't going their way in competition.

And lord knows, they've broken things. Besides records, there's golf clubs, skis, relationships -- and for some reason they both seem to have a thing about leg problems. On that note, and perhaps others, they're also both "on the mend" right now. Or was that rebound?

In their respective sports worlds, they're also both American media darlings. When they compete, even if they're losing, the cameras and microphones will always seek them out.

And talk about picture-perfect blinding incisors just begging for a toothpaste company endorsement -- one of them just has the cutest, most adorable smile that can make hearts flutter -- but I won't say which.

Lindsey got famous by going lickety-split despite the risks. Some have claimed Tiger was doing a variation of the same term in Vegas. Alas, it seems either one can lead to great falls.

Lindsey and Tiger routinely face, and often defeat, world class skiers and golfers that hail from all over the world. Sweden offers both. Lindsey might not be too popular in that country. For his part, Tiger might receive a warmer welcome from the Taliban in the mountains of Afghanistan than he would in Sweden these days. Something about how he treated his ex.

Speaking of the lovely Ms. Nordegren, she's got the kids, over $100 million of Tiger's money, and is now dating a billionaire.

Even if Lindsey Vonn fully recovers from her accident, wins every ski race she enters until she retires, gets endorsements galore, her own reality TV show, and even has a blockbuster Hollywood movie made about her life.....

There's no way she'll ever top Elin's act.

Tiger's one thing. Fooling with Mother Nature is quite another and usually not the best of plans. But seriously disrespecting a Swedish girl is a bad -- repeat -- BAD idea.

As for the longevity of Eldrick and Lindsey? I'll put the over/under at a year and a half.

Whew. Glad that's finished. This gossip stuff is enough to make anybody crazy. I'm going back to real sports. Like thinking of logical reasons why the Detroit Lions will win the Super Bowl.

Hmmm. On second thought -- anybody heard the latest on Brad and Angelena?