Jim Caldwell. Typical Lions

Remember not long ago when so many NFL head coaches got fired on Black Monday, and a couple more followed in the ensuing weeks? Despite all the teams and all the potential candidates' names swirling about to fill all the vacancies --- the one name you never heard a peep about was Jim Schwartz. Like Heather Prynne was doomed to her scarlet red A, Schwartz is now branded forever with the Honolulu blue L. He was a head coach for the Lions. No head coach in their entire history has ever gone on to become an NFL head coach again. While Detroit might be where head coaches come to get rich -- it's also where they come to die. The record is indisputable and speaks for itself.

After Schwartz rightfully finally got shown the door in Detroit, many claimed the Lions were a prime destination, and others would be lining up for that job. Thing is, while the Lions "brain trust" was in their historic slow-motion mode, the other top candidates were being swept up by other teams. Ah, but the Lions had their eye on Ken Whisenhunt all along, some said, but he couldn't be hired until the San Diego Chargers were eliiminated this year. The Chargers were, and Whisenhunt went to the Tennessee Titans. It's really not that hard to understand. Whisenhunt's from Georgia, so he has no serious roots in Michigan or Tennessee. But ask yourself an honest question. Given a choice, for likely about the same money -- which town would you rather spend most of your time in for the next few years? A crime-ridden wasteland like Detroit that's gone bankrupt, or a vibrant city like Nashville with all kinds of good stuff going on? Is that even worthy of debate?

In the end, instead of people beating down their door, it appeared the Lions had to settle for whoever they could get as their next head coach. Enter Jim Caldwell. He's about to get his turn in the mysterious Ford kingdom, trying to make knights out of court jesters. Will he succeed? Hard to say, but nobody has before.

At that, a hard look at Caldwell's own record is somewhat revealing. Yes, like so many others, he bounced around a lot of minor colleges in his younger years as an assistant, before finally getting a shot at being a head coach at Wake Forest in 1993. He was there for 8 years. He went a horrible 26-63 and was fired.

Somehow a guy with that sort of baggage found his way into the NFL. He caught on with Tony Dunge during his Tampa Bay days, and followed him to Indy in 2002. Under the tutelage of Tony Dunge, the Colts would grow into a powerhouse about a decade ago. That team was loaded with talent on both sides of the ball. They would go on to win Super Bowl XLI in early 2007 over the Chicago Bears. Dunge would retire shortly thereafter, and Caldwell inherited the team as head coach. The talent was still there. Indeed, Caldwell would go 14-2 in his rookie season as the Colts' head coach before finally falling short of another Super Bowl victory as a head coach himself.

But during the next couple years with Caldwell at the helm, Indy started to go backwards. After Peyton Manning left, no small loss, Caldwell's Colts went 2-14, and he was fired again. On to the Baltimore Ravens as quarterbacks coach, then offensive coordinator. They won the Super Bowl last year, but John Harbaugh was the head coach, not Jim Caldwell.

It appears Caldwell is one of those guys that's a very good lieutenant, does his due diligence, and carries out his assignments well. But it seems obvious he was never cut out to be a general devising overall war plans. Few folks have the right stuff to be in charge -- while many more are better suited passing along orders that came from a superior that thinks on a higher plane. Caldwell's record would strongly suggest he falls into the latter category.

But since the Fords couldn't seem to get anybody else, Caldwell now finds himself the general of the Lions.

Hey, a likely $25-30 million guaranteed contract isn't exactly a bad job.

But I suspect in 4-5 years, Caldwell will join all his precessors in Lions history on the scrap heap with that same big L tattooed on his forehead.

The Lions and all their local kool-aided scribes can hype this hire all they want -- but this guy is not the answer to what has ailed them for so long. Read it here right now. The Lions will not -- repeat -- NOT be going to a Super Bowl with Caldwell in charge. Ain't gonna happen.

Caldwell might well be a great offensive coordinator, but as a head coach running the show with his own people, he's already proven himself to be a bust.

So the Lions hired him. Given their long sordid history, should that come as any great surprise?