So former Chicago Bear head coach Lovie Smith just signed on to take over the reins of the Tampa Bay Bucs? Well, OK. In the good old boys merry-go-round of NFL head coaches, this should come as no great surprise. A coach will get run out of one town by an owner because he wasn't good enough -- only to pop up in another franchise city somewhere, evidently having convinced THAT owner he could be some kind of miracle worker. This usually entails a long-term, multi-bazillion dollar guaranteed contract to boot. We've seen it over and over.
But Tampa is a progressive sort of town. Certainly age-wise -- ahem. And who knows? If the local masses can pry themselves away from bingo, gin rummy games, and shooting in the 200s on par 3 putt-putt courses, maybe they would be open to a man named Lovie coaching their beloved gridiron ruffians. Assuming, of course, they haven't been watching Gilligan's Island reruns. If so, they would no doubt wonder how that millionaire's uppity wife finally got off the desert isle -- and just how, pray tell, did she come be the head coach of the Buccaneers?
Yep, Tampa just might work out for the good Mrs. Howell, sorry, Mr Smith. Know where he was never going to get a job? Anyplace in Texas.
Down in yee-hah country they prefer guys with names like Buck, Case, Colt, Mack, and of course, Tex. They once even hired a Bum (Phillips). Names like Jason and Troy were pushing it, but nosiree Billybob would they ever cotton to a Lovie. If he had "& Wesson" added to his last name -- they might give him an interview, but that first name still has to go. Ain't gonna be no Lovies in Texas.
Same with Romeo Crennel. He might have been the head coach of the Cleveland Browns and KC Chiefs in years past, but Cleveland and Kansas City are a far yippee-ki-ay from Texas.
Ain't gonna be no Romeos down there either. Let one of them in and, next thing ya know, they'll pass a law saying they gotta hire some Ivy League educated cowgirl named Juliet as defensive coordinator. And that just wouldn't do. Special teams coach maybe, but not a coordinator. Those dang women need to know their place in Bush country, by gawd.
Hard to say where recently fired Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier might land next. It will be somewhere. But guess where it ain't gonna be? Nope, even if Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones finally kicks his red-headed stepson Jason Garrett to the curb, ain't no way he's gonna hire a Leslie to run America's team down in Big D. Just wouldn't seem fittin' -- ya know?
And what were their parents thinking anyway, naming their male children Lovie, Romeo, and Leslie? Bet they caught hell from their classmates in junior high school....
On that note -- another story. It seems some couple in Alabama are catching a lot of flak for naming their newborn child Krimson Tide. Obviously, they're big-time Alabama fans. So what's the big deal? I think it's kinda cool.
And let's face it -- if they were fans of other universities -- it could have been a helluva lot worse.
How about Horned Phrog?
Buck, with the middle initial I?
Potential girls names could get really touchy. Nittany Lynn might work. But there's a few Cougars out there in college football. How do you think that would play out as they got older? And I would strongly suggest that fans of the Oregon State Beavers think long and hard before naming their daughter after their favorite team. Even if she had an older brother named Wally, I'm thinking that would still be a very bad idea in the long run.
Ah well. Both the New York Giants and New York Jets actually play in New Jersey, and the Detroit Pistons haven't played within 20 miles of the city limits for over 30 years. So what's in a name?
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