Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Super Bowl media day. Surely they jest

Once upon a time, when yours truly was a bratty little boy (imagine that), I used to complain to my mom and dad about Mother's day and Father's day. "How come there's no Kids' day?", I would ask. The answer always came back the same. "EVERY day is kids' day", they would respond. Obviously, my parents were retarded back then. Yet as I grew older and had to deal with kids myself, I came to begrudgingly realize mom and dad may have had a point. Perhaps they weren't so dumb after all.

And that's why I find the so-called Super Bowl "Media day" laughable. Good grief, EVERY day is media day. Whether it's politics, celebrity gossip, crime -- pick a topic -- and they're swarming all over it -- EVERY day. Sports is no exception, particularly the days leading up to the Super Bowl. If the medical community had had as many people poking and prodding for information as the current news hounds are into the Super Bowl --  they likely would have cured cancer a long time ago. Or maybe even figured out the mood swing thing amongst the fairer sex -- but perhaps that's asking too much.

Nevertheless, to declare an official "media day" for the Super Bowl is still yuk-worthy. These folks have interviewed everybody from the head coach on down to the water boy, and will continue to do so until the game is played. And then there will be more post-game interviews, where we will all be treated to everything from triumphant rants while spraying champagne, to the losers' locker room solemnly packing their bags and hoping for another chance next year. One team has to win, and one team has to lose. Yet the media will be there to cover it all with their microphones, cameras, and (sometimes stupid) probing questions, whether the players like it or not.

Don't get me wrong. Objective journalists asking hard questions is a good thing. The public absolutely has a right to know what's going on with the movers and shakers that all too often control our lives. But sometimes they become so desperate for a story -- any story --  that it becomes absurd with its very triviality, not to mention nostalgia that is no longer relevant.

Consider the Indianapolis 500. No qualifying car has sported an actual carburetor since 1965. Fuel injection has ruled since shortly after the Beatles made their debut, but they still have a "carburetion day" leading up to the big race. How dumb is that? They also still call the garage areas Gasoline Alley, though methanol has been used for fuel since 1963. There hasn't been any gas on Gasoline Alley (other than farts from the pit crews) since shortly before John Kennedy met his demise in Dallas. That's all a very long time ago. So why not just say it like it is? Call it "check the fuel mileage day" and "methanol alley". In a way, still calling the Indianpolis Motor Speedway the "Brickyard" is appropriate -- because that's exactly what it still features. One yard of bricks at the start/finish line, while the other two and a half miles were repaved a long time ago as well. Nostalgia has its place, but c'mon.

At any rate, I still find the phrase "media day" humorous regarding the Super Bowl. That ranks right up there with cops more closely looking out for any driving irregularities and OMG, people not wearing seat belts on New Year's Eve or St. Patrick's day. Any reason, however fabricated, to pull them over and check them out.

The media is much the same way leading up to the Super Bowl. In the end, whether it's a ticket or ratings -- it's all about cha-chings.

But that doesn't make it right.

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