Sometimes it's hard to decide whether to feel sympathy, outrage, or just kick back and laugh. The city of Detroit and the athletes that play for their pro teams have certainly provided a wide variety of strange scenarios over the years to be considered.
Yet for the purpose of this rant, let's just mention three that have happened quite recently.
After chasing down a pop-up in foul territory, Detroit Tiger first baseman Prince Fielder found himself face-to-face with a man in a front row seat that happened to be holding a nacho. So what did Fielder do? Grabbed a chip or two, stuffed them into his mouth, and waddled back to his position. He didn't even bother to say thanks. Nevermind that 1) the fan had likely shelled out 7-8 bucks for the already pitiful slop they call nachos at most ballparks, or 2) Fielder makes around $20 million a year -- enough to BUY a few franchises that serve such food, and 3) Every major league clubhouse is chock full of all kinds of various munchies for the coaches and players.....
Fielder just couldn't wait a few minutes until that inning was over to gorge himself privately. He had to have it NOW. Jay Leno rightfully lampooned Fielder and why he has such a "fat ass" on the Tonight Show.
Detroit Lions' receiver Nate Burleson just experienced a "single car accident" which resulted in Burleson breaking an arm. This will require surgery and Burleson's timetable to return to action is unknown. Evidently, this came about because Burleson lost control of his car while "adjusting" a pizza or two on the seat. This is another guy that makes millions of bucks. So what's he doing chasing pizza? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to just have it delivered? For that matter, Burleson could hire a car and driver for what amounts to chump change to him for any running about town he felt necessary. But no. Somehow Nate found a way to crash his car, break his arm, and land on the disabled list yet again -- all because he had to do it HIS way. Besides the outrageous tabs that will likely be incurred with medical costs and a car repair shop -- perhaps an even greater tragedy has gone unnoticed. Football players come and go, but good fresh pizza is a terrible thing to waste.
Last but hardly least is the ever-volatile Jim Schwartz, head coach of the Detroit Lions. It has been reported that, due to a technical malfunction, the Lions were placed at a disadvantage in their recent game against the Washington Redskins. Thing is, there WAS no such disadvantage. The NFL would never allow one team to have an advantage over the other due to electronic equipment not functioning properly. Both teams were forced to cope with the same scenario.
Yet one of Schwartz's post-game quotes was notable.
"We were flying blind on offense, defense, and special teams".
And I dare say the man unwitting summed up the last half century of the Lions' foibles quite nicely with that one remark. Even Schwartz (he of the 24-43 career coaching record) gets something right once in a while.
So how should one feel when it comes to Detroit and their athletes?
Sympathy? Outrage? Cautiously hopeful? Resigned to the inevitable?
Personally, I choose to kick back, occasionally watch the show from afar, and wait for the next punch line, that will surely come around soon.
Because when one considers their history, recent past, present, and what's likely to happen in the near future -- it becomes difficult to take them too seriously.
Better to have a few yuks, I think. Lord knows, when it comes to Detroit, most of the rest of the country has been trending that way for a long time.
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