Ding dong, the wicked witch is finally dead. That would be Lions' coach Jim Schwartz leading his band of merry men into Sherwood Forest -- no wait, that was Robin Hood, and this game was played in DC.
At any rate, Dorothy, ahem, Matthew Stafford and his fellow munchkins found their way to Emerald City, oops, the nation's capital, and outsourced, sorry (but it IS Detroit we're talking about), outsorced the Wizards. No, that can't be right either. The Wizards are their basketball team. How did they get into this?
Regardless, after tilting at windmills in their first 21 tries, the Lions finally slew the dragon. Hmmm. It seems somehow Don Quixote and Sinbad have crept into this conversation as well, but the Lions have had a magical way of convincing their fans that "make believe" things might come true every year. As they ride around on their magic carpets, yours truly continues to marvel at their never-say-die Ali Baba "open sesame" attitude towards the Super Bowl, and remain as tightly banded together as Athos, Porthos, and Aramis -- the 3 Musketeers -- not be confused with the candy bar or Annette, Darlene, and Cubby. They were Mouseketeers. Just a slight difference -- or maybe not. Nevertheless, Lions' fans have long since adopted the "one for all and all for one" mantra of the original Three Musketeers. Perhaps for the record, it should be noted that the author of that original novel was named Dumas. Pronounce it however you want and draw your own conclusions.
Still, the Lions somehow found their way into never-never land by winning this game. No wait, that was Peter Pan, or maybe the late Michael Jackson. Seems to me at least one fairy was involved in those magical tales, but I'll leave that to the reader's imagination.
After the final second ticked off the clock, the Lions' head coach threw down his headset and roared towards the heavens. They had finally done it. Jim "Moses" Schwartz had parted the Red Sea -- or at least those pesky Red-skins, and led his team into the promised land. After eons of oppression -- surely salvation must be near at hand. Finally, the Lions threw off the shackles of their nemesis and screamed, "We are free at last". They might even have a dream, but far be it from me to mention the late great Martin Luther King Jr. in the same conversation as the Lions.
So yeah, as you can see from the above, the Lions have a way of causing even the most brilliant of minds to get lost in a magical world of confusion -- let alone someone like your truly who typically thinks on a level best associated with a turnip or green bean.
Either way, congrats are in order for the Lions. And seeing how this article started on a Wizard of Oz note, it should probably finish that way.
The Lions went into DC and played with heart. The Tin Man would have been happy. They showed courage. The Cowardly Lion would have been proud.
Most important of all, despite a few minor gaffes from the Honolulu blue and silver here and there, Ndamukong Suh didn't do anything incredibly stupid or destructive.
And who knows? Maybe somewhere over the rainbow that scarecrow's dream will come true too.
For now, two out of three ain't bad. I really don't want to ever see #90 in those ruby red slippers, though.
Now THAT would definitely be a personal foul......
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