Monday, September 30, 2013

Fresh out of Texas tea

"...And up through the ground came a-bubbalin crude. Oil that is. Black gold. Texas tea."  Yep, the Beverly Hillbillies was one of my favorite shows of all time.

So what's that got to do with sports? Signs held up by fans in the Rangers' stadium said "Texas Pride".

That seems to beg a question....

What exactly does Texas have to be proud of these days?

(Noteworthy comment on the Rangers by a talking head during the Texas/Tampa game. It's the 6th inning. Texas is down 4-1. If they don't win this game, their season is over. After the September call-ups, they have 18 pitchers on their roster. The reliever they just brought in has quickly given up two doubles and two walks. So how come none of the other sixteen --count em-- 16 pitchers are even warming up? What else do they have to do at this point in time?)

The Rangers are history (though I'll miss manager Ron Washington's occasional boo-ga-loo in the dugout), and the Houston Astros are downright pit-ee-ful, as Jed Clampett was fond of saying.

In the NFL, the Cowboys are mediocre at best, and the Houston Texans just blew a 17 point half-time lead to lose a game at home.

The NHL? Even if they had a good team -- which they don't -- nobody cares about hockey in Texas anyway.

(Idle thought. Is that really the multi-talented Bill Hader of SNL fame doing those stupid T-Mobile commercials? I knew he was leaving the show to pursue other things but.... nah .. couldn't be. It must be one of those look-alike things -- like me and Brad Pitt).

The NBA? The Houston Rockets keep throwing big money at free agents, but does anybody REALLY expect them to be a serious contender?
I get a huge kick out of Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban, but his roundball boys aren't going anywhere any year soon either.
The Spurs in Alamoland are always pretty good, and they came within a whisker of winning the championship last year. But yours truly suspects they'll be schussing down the backside of their bell curve in the near future. This is not to say they're getting up in years, but don't be too surprised if the next printing of the King James Bible has a couple additional old testament chapters called DeuterParker and ObaDuncan. Even their head coach could get in on recording their sacred history for all time. How's the book of Popverbs grab you?

It doesn't stop there. Even at the college level, the entire state of Texas, with all their big-time programs, doesn't seem to have a true contender in anything. Not even a politician to be fearful of or taken seriously. And when's the last time THAT happened?

Oh my. For a state that has always prided itself on being big in everything they do -- it would appear Texas has quickly become decidedly small on many fronts.

Nary a "lone star" in sight.

Maybe the yee-hah folks should consider relocating.

"They said Californy is the place you need to be -- so they loaded up their truck and moved to Beverly".

I know that doesn't make any sense and I apologize --  but I loved that show.

Final idle thought: Assuming the poker game that's been all the rage for the last several years really did originate in Texas -- this would seem to be a good time for all the buckeroos and buxomettes to do exactly what the game calls for. Just hold-em for a while. Every little thing will be alright, eventually.

Maybe....









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