Detroit Lions. The beat goes on

No disrespect intended, but I had to laugh after the snow bowl game in Philly. Particularly when I read a certain noted columnist looking for a reason -- any reason -- for Detroit Lions' fans not to start screaming HERE WE GO AGAIN. Too much koolaid, but that seems to have long been the norm amongst Lions' fans, and their local scribes that report on them. Once addicted, there are few that kick the habit. Yours truly was one of the fortunate ones.

Why the Lions have bumbled their way through the NFL for the last half century remains a mystery indeed. Some might call them a "storied" franchise. No doubt they are. (Umpteen million stories have been written about them over the years.) So are the Chicago Cubs. For that matter, lets include the Washington Generals, the age-old foil of the Harlem Globetrotters. One can always count on the Cubs, Generals, and Lions to find a way to ultimately lose in the end. Like the sun sets in the west, or my ex would find a way to criticize me -- one way or the other -- it's going to happen before the day is done. Count on it.

Of course, there are those that think the Globetrotter/General games were scripted. These are the same fools that still maintain the outcome of professional wrestling matches was predetermined before world-class athletes such as Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant ever climbed into the ring. Sacrilege, I tell ya. Off with the heads of such infidels.

Playing a different sport notwithstanding, between the Lions and Cubs, there are similarities and differences. The Cubs haven't won a World Series since Ty Cobb was in his hey-day, or roughly about the same time yours truly last got "lucky". Yet they continue to be known as lovable losers. Like Sara Lee, nobody doesn't like the Cubs.

The Lions, on the other hand, have never even been to a Super Bowl, much less won it. Outside of the Detroit area, they've never enjoyed the same huggy, toasty, feel good no matter what treatment that the Cubs have. In fact, the Honolulu blue and silver puddy-tats are often held up as objects of ridicule. Amongst others, late night talk show hosts have teed off on them for decades. Much like the crowds once roared at such places as Tiger Stadium, the Pontiac Silverdome, and currently Ford Field, the studio audiences and millions of viewers at home also roar. But for a different reason. Laughter. To be sure, there's nothing lovable about a few of the current Lions' players, that have become known for cheap shots here and there. And their head coach likely doesn't have a future in international diplomacy himself. Let's just say the Lions aren't exactly helping their own cause when it comes to public perception.

But half a century of futility, sometimes bordering on the absurd, would seem to be way too much for coincidence. How can it be that one team can be that bad for that long?

Some have suggested it's the ownership of the Ford family. The time line fits, and the Fords have always been "hands-off" owners, delegating running the football team to others they deemed more knowledgeable. Sure, there's been umpteen generations of players, head coaches and their staffs, and even the "front office" personnel has undergone a few turnovers, but nothing seems to change. Could it be that the Fords will own the Lions in perpetuity, which seems likely, but have been cursed by Divine decree for their team to forever remain in purgatory? Well, there was the Pinto and the Edsel, and that bit about exploding tires a while back, but c'mon. Methinks the Big Guy upstairs wouldn't hold that against them for THIS long.

Yet, with the Lions, like Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say -- it's always something. If there's a way to screw it up -- they'll find it. Hey, I've got 50 years worth of stats to back me up on this.

Oops. Gotta go. One of my yorkies just threw up on the bed. Not good. And he's not even a Lions' fan, far as I know know. Or maybe he is. Come to think of it, he was watching me type this for a while, then ran off and vomited. Huh. Funny, or maybe not why those things happen. But I gotta make sure the little rascal is OK and clean up the mess anyway. Following up next time......