Wow. The Detroit Pistons went into Miami and knocked off the Heat? Bet not too many people saw that one coming. Nevertheless, Jason Whitlock, former columnist of the Kansas City Star, and currently writing/yapping for/on the 4 letter network, quickly hosed down the Pistons' parade. "It's nothing", quoth the Whitster, "Miami was without Dwyane Wade. No big deal". Geez, he's no fun.
While describing some basketball action, the ever inimitable Keith Olbermann used the phrase "premature jocularity". Innocent enough, I suppose, but also close enough to cause a similar phrase that would have raised a few eyebrows to jump into one's head. An accident? Of course not. The Olbermeister knew exactly what he was saying. He's tricky that way. No wonder he's got in trouble with TV execs so much over his career.
So the Detroit Tigers finally found a closer, eh? Wait a minute. They signed that Nathan guy? Is that the same Nathan that owns the coney island joint in Brooklyn? You know, where they have the 4th of July hot dog eating contest every year? I wonder if Joey Chestnut and the other eating machines know about this yet. Geez, Brooklyn without Nathan would be like a family of four attending a major sporting event, and not having to skip a house payment. That's no fun either.
Hang on... what's that? The Nathan the Tigers' signed isn't the same hot dog guy? Guess he's just an average Joe. And the original coney island Nathan was a Polish immigrant that died back in 1983? Really? And his full name was Nathan Handwerker? The hell you say. Huh. With a name like that -- I'll betcha him and Olbermann were buds back in the day. Funny how these random tidbits connect sometimes.
I finally tried that Gold Bond powder Shaq has been advertising on TV. Pretty amazing stuff. I not only smell better, but I've grown a foot and seem to be getting dumber by the day. Anybody got a Buick I can try to squeeze into?
Still can't figure that insurance company with a reptile as a spokesman. Fifteen minutes might save one a bunch of money, they claim. Well, OK. I'll take them at their word. How about they send a representative to my house for 15 minutes to discuss rates? Is that asking too much? If they want my business, come and try to get it. And they can send the little green lizard if they wish. I doubt I'd be persuaded monetarily, but my yorkies always get excited over a new chew toy.
Things have been way too quiet for way too long on the Tiger Woods' front. He must be up to something.....
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