Well, let's see. The Anaheim Ducks blasted the Detroit Red Wings in their own building.
Another duck is still quacking his (or maybe her -- not sure) spiel on the TV airwaves hawking insurance.
And some dude from a Duck Dynasty currently finds himself in hot water for some alleged homophobic slurs. Those kind of ducks have dynasties? Really? Yeah, OK, I get it that a few hicks from the bayou could become millionaires in modern day American society. After all, things turned out pretty well for Jed Clampett when an errant shot from his trusty squirrel gun resulted in the bubbling crude. This from a guy that could supposedly shoot the eye out of a fly from 100 yards, but he missed a critter at close range. And closely watch the background intro scene to the show again, if you get a chance. Whoever heard of a mountain man's dog being guy shy? Old Blue, or whatever his name was, jumped liked he'd been tased when that critter gun went off. Somehow, that just ain't right.
We've long had politicians ducking questions every which way. Quack, quack, quack. Anything but the truth. Maybe they should be selling insurance while real ducks take their places in office. Nothing would get done, you say, while the ducks pooped all over everything and continued to squawk their own unintelligible language? Welcome to the world of American politics, but at least the ducks would do the same thing for chicken feed instead of costing the tax-payers a ton of money. And forget about all those first-class private jet accommodations that cost a fortune. Ducks can fly themselves for free. Hmm. I'm starting to like this idea about a Duck party in Washington.
But this is supposed to be about sports. Methinks there should be a few head-coaching sitting ducks in the NFL, but it all depends on what team it is -- and who the owners are.
In Minnesota, head coach Leslie Frazier has been with a lot of teams over the years, including several that have made the playoffs. Leslie's done this, and Leslie's done that. But this year Leslie's team is taking on water faster than the Titanic. Will owner Zygi Wilf give Leslie the ziggy indeed at year's end, even though he owes him another year on his contract? Maybe. And whoever heard of a true viking named Leslie?
In Washington, head coach Mike Shanahan appears to be at odds with his owner Daniel Snyder. Snyder seems to favor Robert Griffin III, even though RG3 has been stinking it up all year with his play. As the head coach, Shanahan wants to be able to play the players he deems the best, perhaps including former MSU quarterback Kirk Cousins.
Just because a guy was a high draft choice making a ton of money doesn't always mean he's the most capable quarterback to lead the team now, or in the future. Sometimes they turn out to be stars. Other times, they crash and burn. It happens, and if a team is serious about winning, what should it matter how they came by a player? Some turn out to be better than others. But if and when a head coach stares down an active owner, as to who's going to have their way with the team -- betting on the owner is usually a good idea. Having rosy cheeks and a bucky beaver smile only get one so far.
And speaking of clueless owners, would somebody please explain to me how Detroit Lions' head coach Jim Schwartz, he of the 29-49 career record (.372), not only still has a job, but remains highly regarded by the Lions and their fans? Since getting blown out by the New Orleans Saints in a playoff game two years ago -- isn't this the same guy whose team turned around and tanked to the tune of a 4-12 record last year? The very one that continues to appear incapable of installing any discipline within his team (stupid penalties), or even himself (various rants)? You know, the head inmate still running the asylum as the Lions once again see another season swirling around like the water underneath your butt after you just reached behind you and pushed the lever down? That guy? And they gave him a contract extension? Unbelievable. Only in Detroit.
Schwartz should not only be a lame duck, but in any other NFL town, he'd be a sitting one for an owner that cared. Who would they bring in to replace him? Who cares? For all the "talent" the Lions and their minions keep saying they have -- they could probably hire some crackhead off the street, slap headphones on him, and THAT dude could probably average a .372 winning percentage. And, trust me, he'd more than willing to do the job for a whole lot less dough than the megabucks Schwartz continues to rake in.
Let's not forget, the Detroit Lions' has always been a graveyard for NFL head coaches. That is where they go to die. Despite the ongoing "good ole boys" network amongst other head coaches that shuffle from team to team -- no defrocked Lions head coach has gone on to assume the on field reins of another team. EVER. Sure, some have found work as a coordinator here or a broadcaster there, but once they've cycled through Detroit, they're done as head coaches. Quoth the raven -- nevermore -- and the Baltimore NFL variety of those Poe-birds put a serious crimp in the Lions' IV playoff tube just a few days ago. What once was a steady flow has been reduced to a trickle, and the Honolulu blue and silver vital signs have become very weak.
If the Lions' ownership ever briefly emerges from their own latest coma to grasp reality and mercifully put Schwartz down -- do you really think any other team would show the slightest interest in having Jimbo run their show? If so, yours truly would disagree.
He's just another duck. And when it's "open season", being a "quacky" duck is usually not a good long term career plan.
As one of the greatest minds of our time was fond of saying, "Be vewy vewy quiet". Yep, Elmer Fudd knew what he was talking about.
Though that "wascally wabbit" always eluded him, much like the Lions and being serious contenders, let alone getting to a Super Bowl, the honorable Mr. Fudd should be noted for what he indeed accomplished. He's been around since 1940, way longer than the Fords have owned the Lions, and his memory remains beloved in the minds and hearts of millions to this day.
The Fords and their half-century parade of losing head coaches? Not so beloved. Bad memories.
There's ducks, and then there's ducks. Right now, I'm ducking out of here to go watch Jeopardy! in the man cave.
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