Why the Detroit Lions can't win

Following up on the last post, some think the Ford ownership of the Lions is somehow responsible for their losing ways over the last half century. The time frame certainly fits, but does anybody really believe that some sort of curse is involved? A commenter suggested that because the original Henry Ford was allegedly anti-Semitic, the team would be forever doomed to failure.

That's as good as any theory yours truly can come up with to explain so many decades of ongoing futility -- but I'm not sure I buy it. After all, old Henry passed away in April of 1947, and his grandson William Clay Ford wouldn't purchase the team until 16 and a half years later, in November of 1963. Henry knew about assembly lines and painting cars black, but never has it been suggested (to my knowledge) he had the slightest inkling about, or interest in professional football. What we now know as the mighty NFL was in it's infancy back then.

Odd fact: Strangely enough, William Clay Ford purchased a controlling interest in the Lions on the exact same day former President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. Make of that what you will.

On to the modern day Lions. Much fanfare has been made (at least in the Detroit area) over quarterback Matthew Stafford throwing for 5000 yards and receiver Calvin (Megatron) Johnson racking up 2000 receiving yards during the course of a season. But you know what? It doesn't matter.

Stafford and Johnson can rack up all the personal gaudy stats they want year after year, and they might well get them into the Hall of Fame someday -- but as a team, the Lions are nowhere close to being Super Bowl caliber. Never have been, and don't look to be any year soon.

Here's a fair question for Lions' fans: Consider Dan Marino. As the long-time QB of the Miami Dolphins -- a Hall of Famer himself -- Marino set all kinds of NFL passing records. But he never won a Super Bowl. Do you think Stafford is currently better than he was? If you answer yes, yours truly would disagree.

Thing is, to run the gaunlet of the playoffs and win a Super Bowl takes a whole lot more than a hot-shot QB, one receiver, and a couple defensive linemen that flip back and forth between making good plays and gooning it up with stupid penalties.

And let's get real. What else do the Lions really have going for them? A retooled offensive line, with a loud-mouthed career loser anchoring it. Reggie Bush was a nice addition to their running game, until one considers they didn't HAVE a running game until he showed up. At that, it's understandable the Saints would let him walk, because they've become a good team and didn't need him anymore -- but the Dolphins? While being heralded as some sort of savior in Detroit, Bush is still fumble and injury prone, and quite likely wouldn't even make the roster of many other NFL teams.

Besides Calvin Johnson, the rest of the Lions' receiver corps isn't even mediocre. Nate Burleson, in the twilight of his career, likes to yap to the press, but he can't stay healthy either. They have a feature tight end that still can't catch (Pettigrew), and another rookie (Fauria) that thought he became some sort of rock star with a dancing routine after making his first touchdown catch. Please.

The linebacking corps is a bunch of guys nobody ever heard of, and the patchwork secondary, which can't seem to stay healthy either, isn't exactly noted for their cover abilities on opposing receivers. When they aren't committing stupid penalties themselves -- they routinely get burned for big plays.

True, it's the NFL and any team can beat any other on any given game day. The Lions still think they let one get away in Pittsburgh a while back. Pittsburgh fans would say their Steelers won it fair and square. The Lions nipped the Cowboys on the final play of the game with a surprise quarterback sneak. Lions fans would say they drove the field and luck had nothing to do with it. Cowboys fans no doubt still think they had the game in the bag and, but for a quirk of fate, should have won it. It all depends who's looking at it.

The Lions are capable of going on the road and beating a very good team. But they're also capable of getting beat by a bad team in their own back yard. Remember Tampa Bay a couple weeks back?

The Lions depend WAY too much on the Matthew to Calvin show. Mostly Calvin. Any QB could heave it in his direction, and chances are good the Megatron will find a way to catch it. But when that's taken away, like it was in Philadelphia, due to inclement weather, the Lions all of a sudden become decidedly not-so-good. Johnson had 3 catches for 49 yards in that game. The Lions lost by two touchdowns. Had it not been for a punt and kickoff returned for touchdowns -- in 6-8 inches of snow -- by a Lion player nobody had heard of before either, they could easily have been walloped by 30 points in the City of Brotherly Love.

But in the NFL, a win is a win, and a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter whether they were by 1 point or 30, or even if they were "lucky". Stuff happens every week. Sometimes the unexpected, both ways.

Until it gets to be playoff time. Sure, occasionally upsets even happen then. Who would have guessed the Baltimore Ravens would go into Denver and beat Peyton Manning and his Broncos last year on their way to winning the Super Bowl?

But for the most part, the playoffs have a way of of exposing the pretenders while the solidly built teams march on.

And the Lions are not solidly built. They may well indeed win the woeful NFC north, largely due to the fact that a guy named Aaron Rodgers suffered a broken collar bone a few weeks back. Like the Lions depend on Calvin, the Packers are nowhere without Rodgers.

But the Super Bowl for the Lions? Forget that. It ain't gonna happen. Right now they're just about smack dab mediocre when it comes to the NFC. A few teams worse, but a few teams a lot better too.

Even if they back into the playoffs, does any Lion fan really think their team can go into New Orleans, San Fran, or even the upstart Carolina Panthers -- and win? And if it comes to Seattle, they might as well save the jet fuel and other expenses by staying home. A forfeit might be a first in the NFL, but what's the point in travelling all the way across the country to a slaugherhouse? That would get seriously ugly.

So hey, Lions fans. Enjoy the koolaid high while it lasts, but brace yourselves for the inevitable crash. Because it's going to happen -- and down deep you already know that. Your team may be capable of occasional flashes of brilliance, but from the head coach on down to the last guy on the special teams depth chart -- they're also capable of being bone heads.

Ah heck. It's just another year. After so many, what's one more on top of the pile? Like the commenter I cited above said -- maybe old Henry was anti-Semitic and somehow his bloodline was cursed. Or maybe there was a second shooter in Dallas. Beats me. Some things we will likely never know for sure.

But when I was a little boy, I do seem to have a recollection of my grandpa saying he always wanted a red car when he was a young man himself -- but that dastardly Henry Ford only offered them in one color -- black.

Nowadays, his heirs have seemed to only offer their football team in one variety as well.

Losers.